So, I am sure many of you are fortunate enough to have an elderly parent.  I am doubly fortunate as mine is sharp as a tack, totally independent and enjoying her journey.  She plays tennis, has a companion, travels and drives.  I might add, she is 90.

Now, she had a little problem last summer and had 3 surgical procedures to fix the same problem.  At that age, anesthetic is not your friend.  She has had a bit of cognitive impairment since then.  Not bad but she does occasionally get confused.  In her confusion one day, she, against the rules (and there are now rules), drove a friend to the airport.  On the way home, she got confused, did not know where she was, and so she decided to go back to the airport and try again.  All that accomplished was getting lost at the airport and ultimately, crashing her car.  Fortunately, she crashed into a breakaway sign pole and she was not hurt.  However, her car was totaled.   As as is usual with my mother, she was immediately surrounded by men wanting to help her.  That was a good thing but did make me laugh.  Being around mom means men flocking to her aid.  Don’t know why but she is a male magnet!  We all call it the “Harriet Factor”.

So, car goes to repair shop, insurance totals it.  Now, this took a few days.  During this time, she had everyone at her beck and call.  Waited not one second for a ride.  Was she happy?  No!  She carried on, I can’t take this, I need a car, etc.etc. etc.   It was like dealing with a teenager.

So, one day we went and bought her a car.  There were new rules.  Those included not driving on I4.  EVER!  She also was not allowed to drive at night.  Again EVER!

2 days into the new car, her companion calls me.  “Do you know your mother made a dinner appointment?”  Thanks I said.  I will deal with it.  Next morning I was walking with her and said I hear you have dinner plans.  First statement – “How do you know?”   Then, Well, its at 5pm.  My comment, Will you be done at 5:05?  She looked at me.  I reminded her that she was not allowed to drive after dark.  Answer, “well, its only down Maitland Avenue.”  Seriously, I am getting a glimpse of what I must have been like to deal with as a teenager.   Then her friend called to cancel because, in the Jewish community, no one can die without these people attending all the events.  So, she suggested the following week for dinner.  Mom said and I quote”Leslie forbid me from driving at night”.   Unbelievable.  A couple of weeks later she was again volunteering to drive on I4.  Fortunately it was her companion and he said no.

Fast forward to yesterday.  We are planning a trip and she volunteered to go to AAA in Lake Mary.  I asked her how was going?  She told me I4.  I shook my head and was like – how does not driving ever again on I4 equate to you driving on I4.  Well, says she, how can I get to Lake Mary?  I showed her the route.  Not that hard.

I have no idea what she does when I am not looking.  I know she does all the things she is not supposed to do.  Anyone have any ideas how to make a 90 year old child behave?  I am pretty sure that is impossible.  I now understand the plight of parents when they let their kids go.  I know I never followed rules.  Now I am dealing with my counterpart who obviously has no intention of following rules when no one can see her.

Life is funny.  As the child becomes the parent, the world feels a little upside down.  However, its wonderful to have a parent at this point in life and one does what one can to keep them safe.